CBS New York
May 13, 2013 11:02 PM
New York Michael Bloomberg angrily denounced “manhole terrorism”, saying he will not rest until the culprit or culprits are behind bars. Hizzoner’s action plan:
- Record manufacturer’s serial numbers of all NY manhole covers
- Demand Congress pass a law requiring background checks on all sellers of manole covers
- Deploy his crack team of investigators to track down the person or persons who, directly or indirectly, caused violent explosions that damaged vehicles, darkened homes and businesses and disrupted life for a few million rubberneckers who hurried to the scene to volunteer their services.
The Mayor stated through his office spokesperson, “Too many New Yorkers have been injured or killed by errant manhole covers. This must not be allowed to go any further! As mayor of New York, it is my solemn duty to protect the citizens of this great city from themselves.”
Conservative members of City Council argued that practically all injuries and deaths due to open manholes were the consequence of pedestrians ignoring warning signs, while others fell in while inebriated. The Mayor’s office angrily responded to conservatives: “Those conservatives want to make this a matter of carelessness on the part of our citizens, but, as the Mayor has frequently said, people wouldn’t fall into manholes if manhole covers were registered and banned from the streets of his city.”
CBS News is yet to hear from the National Manhole Cover Association (NMCA).
Senator Chuck Schumer has already sent a letter to the BATF to demand a full-scale investigation.