Deaths of Cow Family Outrages Administration

1 August 2015 AD
15 Av 5775

Obama calls on US Fish & Wildlife Service to investigate deaths of Cow family.

obama admin joins in helping investigate Cow Family deaths

According to White House news sources, President Obama was “shocked and saddened” over the reported deaths of three members of the Cow family out of Ogden, Utah. Said, the President at a news conference today, “I have directed the US Fish and Wildlife Service to follow the facts wherever they lead. We must get to the bottom of this, this senseless killing of animals with names.”

the cow family

The Cow family children, Cedric, Louise and Pamela, lived pastoral lives on the savannas of Utah.

When a reporter informed the President of the deaths of over 100,000 live cattle per weekday in the US, the president responded, “Yes, but they had no names. What I find outrageous is farmers would kill animals with names, animals that just wanted to coexist in peace with mankind.” In the week ending July 18, 2015, 542,269 cattle were slaughtered to provide prime rib for White House soirees and hamburgers at Joe Willy’s Restaurant in Rockwall and elsewhere.

Slaughterhouse facts:

A reporter from asked how these three cows deserved national attention, but the daily slaughter in our country of 2,899 unborn humans don’t arouse the president’s attention. To this, the president replied with a smirk appearing in the corner of his mouth, “Those fetuses don’t have Social Security Numbers and they are honored by their body parts serving to study diseases.”

As the investigation into the deaths of the Cow family fraternal twins goes forward, this reporter will be bringing timely updates.

Meanwhile in the U.S. Congress, minority leader Nancy Pelosi says she will author a bill to assure all American cattle have legal names to prevent such an atrocity from ever happening again.

John White​
Rockwall, Texas

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