Democrat Senator Fearlessly Confronts the Kool-Aid Industry

Sen Chris Murphy of Connecticut
NBC News: WASHINGTON — The worst mass poisoning in modern American history was met with immediate calls for action on gun control Monday from some Democratic lawmakers. (slightly edited from original for sarcasm emphasis)

Sen. Chris Murphy of Connecticut demanded that Congress “get off its ass and do something.”

“This must stop,” Murphy said. “It is positively infuriating that my colleagues in Congress are so afraid of the Kool-Aid industry that they pretend there aren’t public policy responses to this epidemic.”

He added: “The thoughts and prayers of politicians are cruelly hollow if they are paired with continued legislative indifference. It’s time for Congress to get off its ass and do something.”

Okay, okay, yes, the preceding was Murphy’s panicked rant for MORE federal law to prevent massacre by firearms.

Indubitably, his concern for our safety is genuine. So the urgency he demands will address this issue of public safety.

According to Medical News Today,

Nearly 75 percent of all deaths in the United States are attributed to just 10 causes, with the top three of these accounting for over 50 percent of all deaths. Over the last 5 years, the main causes of death in the U.S. have remained fairly consistent.

Here are the top ten:

1 Heart disease 614,348 23.4
2 Cancer (malignant neoplasms) 591,699 22.5
3 Chronic lower respiratory disease 147,101 5.6
4 Accidents (unintentional injuries) 136,053 5.2
5 Stroke (cerebrovascular diseases) 133,033 5.1
6 Alzheimer’s disease 93,541 3.6
7 Diabetes 76,488 2.9
8 Influenza and pneumonia 55,227 2.1
9 Kidney disease (nephritis, nephrotic syndrome, and nephrosis) 48,146 1.8
10 Suicide 42,773 1.6

Source for the above:

To sweeten the pot, here are a couple more statistics for your reading pleasure.

11 Automobile crashes (an additional 2,350,000 are injured or disabled each year) | Source: ASIRT 37,000 deaths
12 All firearms deaths | Source: CDC Fast Facts 33,594 deaths

You never knew that Kool-Aid contributes to the 7th leading cause of deaths in America while firearm deaths trail automobile deaths.

Perhaps Sen. Murphy, armed with the above information, will demand Congress outlaw Kool-Aid and other sugary drinks and snacks.

John White
Rockwall, Texas

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